Sunshine Poop Scoop: Florida Legislature’s Swamp Circus, April 14-18, 2025

Hold your flip-flops and swat them skeeters, Sunshine Poop Scoop fans—the Florida Legislature turned Tallahassee into a swamp circus last week! We’re talkin’ April 14-18, week six of the 2025 session (March 4-May 2), and the Capitol was wilder than a gator chasin’ a mullet on a jet ski! From DeSantis’ budget tantrums to development bills stirrin’ the mud, a term limits sizzle, and a side-splittin’ Florida news nugget, here’s the stinky scoop on what went down!

DeSantis’ Budget Meltdown Brings the Giggles

The week’s biggest laugh came when Gov. Ron DeSantis threw a hissy fit over the House’s budget plans for HB 5001 ($115.6 billion). House Speaker Daniel Perez clapped back, accusin’ Ron of “lyin’” and slingin’ “temper tantrums” (social media, April 16). Social media went bananas—one user dubbed DeSantis a “Donkey in an Elephant suit,” while another quipped he’d need “lube for where they shove his veto pen.” It’s like watchin’ two gators rassle in a kiddie pool—pure Florida comedy gold! Tuesday’s Ways & Means Committee fanned the flames, pushin’ sales tax holidays (think tax-free ammo) over Ron’s property relief dreams. A social media zinger nailed it: “Tax breaks for bullets, but my AC’s still wheezin’!” Florida’s budget brain’s funnier than a manatee in a tutu!

Gulf of America Sparks a Showboat

On April 14, DeSantis signed SB 660/HB 707, renamin’ the Gulf of Mexico the “Gulf of America” (flsenate.gov, President’s Office). It’s a GOP chest-thump—social media called it a “showboat stunt”—but Monday’s Local Administration caught heat for skippin’ condo fixes. It’s about as useful as flip-flops in a hurricane, but it’s got folks wonderin’ if our maps are gettin’ a MAGA makeover. Pure Florida swagger, zero practical juice!

Child Labor Laws Loosen Up

HB 317/SB 830, easin’ teen work rules, rolled through Tuesday’s Commerce & Tourism (Senate) and Workforce Development (House). Kids as young as 13 might snag summer gigs—businesses cheer, but parents fret late-night shifts. Social media jabbed, “Kids workin’ ‘til midnight, but don’t skip algebra!” It’s a hot sand debate—workforce boost or kiddo chaos? Could hit the floor soon, stirrin’ more swamp heat.

Tourism Tax Tweak for Mickey’s Crew

Sen. Carlos Guillermo Smith scored a win with SPB 7034, relaxin’ Tourism Development Tax rules (flsenate.gov, April 14). It’s a boon for theme park towns like Orlando, but social media griped, “More Mickey cash while my rent’s sky-high.” A slick move for Disney fans, less so for swamp-dwellers pinchin’ pennies.

Development Bills: Stirrin’ the Swamp Mud

Development’s a slow-cookin’ gator stew, but it’s gettin’ spicy! SB 110 (Rural Renaissance), Sen. Corey Simon’s $200 million plan for rural housin’, roads, and a Prosperity Office, passed the Senate March 27 and’s been loiterin’ in the House. Wednesday’s Infrastructure Strategies Committee gave it a nudge—no floor vote yet, but rural folks are hollerin’ for cash, not condos. Social media’s split—some see jobs, others smell bulldozers rippin’ up the panhandle. It’s warm sand, but could flare if the House bites.

SB 1118, the land-use power grab, is a hotter potato. It passed the Senate March 22, bannin’ local land-use votes since 2011 and demandin’ supermajority zoning shifts—givin’ developers a state-sized welcome mat. It’s stuck in the House—Thursday’s State Affairs Committee might’ve poked it, but no vote’s logged (flhouse.gov). The Florida League of Cities calls it a “growth mismanagement nightmare,” warnin’ of sprawl uglier than a skeeter swarm (Tallahassee Democrat, March 20). Social media’s fumin’—one user ranted, “More strip malls than mangroves!” Hot sand alert—could ignite if it moves!

HB 771/SB 432, filed by Rep. Kevin Steele and Sen. Corey Simon, are lurkin’ in committees since March. They’d ban special assessments—cash from property owners for sewers or sidewalks—starvin’ local development funds. No action this week, but it’s a sleeper that could choke rural fixes or flood zone repairs post-‘24 hurricanes. Warm pavement for now—watch for sneaky sparks!

Term Limits: A Slow Swamp Sizzle

SJR 536/HJR 1055, pushin’ a 16-year cap (8 House, 8 Senate) for lawmakers, moved forward in Monday’s Ethics & Elections Committee (flsenate.gov). It’s a quiet plot to shake up Tallahassee’s old-timers, aimin’ for the 2026 ballot. Social media’s cheerin’—“Drain the swamp!”—but some grumble it’s just reshufflin’ the same gators (social media, April 2). It’s hot sand for career politicos—could boot the lifers if voters say yes. No big vote this week, but it’s buildin’ steam like a Key West sunset.

Florida Funny: The Naked Goat Bandit

While snoopin’ around the Legislature, a Florida gem popped up—on April 15, Volusia County deputies nabbed a buck-naked guy ridin’ a stolen motorcycle with a pet goat in tow (WESH, April 15). He ditched the bike, fled into the woods, and left the goat bleatin’ like it just saw the weirdest Florida Man audition ever! Social media lost it—“Naked dude, stolen bike, and a goat sidekick? Florida’s scriptwriters need a raise!” This ain’t legislative, but it’s the kinda swamp zing that pairs perfect with DeSantis’ tantrums—proof Florida’s always slingin’ strange!

General Swamp Shenanigans

• Budget Brawl: HB 5001 ruled the week—Wednesday’s Appropriations Conference was a slugfest. No final vote, but Friday’s talks teed up more drama—tax cuts vs. sales tax breaks are tenser than a crab in a trap.

• Condo Fixes Crawl: SB 1742 for post-Surfside relief cleared Tuesday’s Fiscal Policy—Senate floor’s next. House is draggin’ like a hungover pelican—no vote yet.

• Gun Talks Bubble: Wednesday’s Judiciary stirred post-Parkland rollbacks—under-21 rifle ban’s in play. HB 15/SB 190 (gun storage) stayed quiet, but the Second Amendment crowd’s watchin’.

The Stinky Wrap-Up

DeSantis’ “Donkey” meltdown and naked goat bandits topped the week’s laughs, while Gulf-namin’ nonsense and kid labor laws kept the sand hot. Development’s simmerin’—SB 110 and SB 1118 teeter, HB 771 lurks—and term limits creep toward ‘26. Mullet Man’s March 25 “Sky King” glory still tickles—social media’s memin’ his Eye-Rollin’ Gertie sidekick! Senate’s back Tuesday (4:30 PM, flsenate.gov), House runs all week—snag more swamp stink at sunshinepoopscoop.com! #SwampScoop