Sunshine Poop Scoop: Florida Legislature’s Hot Sand Sizzle, April 14-18, 2025

Hold your flip-flops and dodge them skeeters, Sunshine Poop Scoop fans—the Florida Legislature’s about to turn Tallahassee into a hot pavement party! It’s April 14 to 18, week six of the 2025 session (March 4-May 2), and the Capitol’s sizzlin’ like a July beach with budget brawls, kid work debates, and a few swampy chuckles. Let’s scoop the poop on what’s burnin’ up the agenda—hot sand, hot laughs, and all!

Budget Blaze Sets the Swamp Afire

The $115.6 billion budget beast, HB 5001, is the week’s hottest potato—think asphalt at noon! House and Senate are locked in conference committees, and Monday’s Appropriations meetings could spark a showdown. Gov. DeSantis wants tax cuts—property relief’s his jam—but lawmakers are leanin’ toward sales tax holidays, maybe even for guns and ammo (social media's buzzin’ with “tax-free bullets” jokes). This one’s a scorcher—by Friday, we’ll see who gets burned or walks away with the cash. Every dollar’s a fight—will it fix roofs or just buy more swamp toys?

Child Labor Laws Get a Teen-Sized Shake

HB 317 and SB 830 are flarin’ up, lookin’ to loosen child labor rules after last week’s committee chatter. Tuesday’s Commerce & Tourism in the Senate and Workforce Development in the House might push ‘em forward—think 14-year-olds flippin’ burgers or 13-year-olds hustlin’ summer gigs. Businesses are cheerin’—more hands on deck!—but parents are squawkin’ about school nights and safety. It’s hot sand territory—one social media user snarked, “Kids workin’ ‘til midnight, but don’t skip math class!” Could hit the floor soon—watch this space!

Gulf of America Stirs the Pot

SB 660 and HB 707, renamin’ the Gulf of Mexico to “Gulf of America,” passed last week and are headed to DeSantis’ desk—he’s expected to sign. Monday’s Local Administration committees might catch some heat— buzz calls it a “Trump flex” distractin’ from condo fixes. It’s hot pavement for sure—symbolic, but it’s got folks wonderin’ if maps are next. Pure Florida showboatin’!

Development Sparks Smolderin’

Development’s warmin’ up—SB 110 (Rural Renaissance) with its $200 million for rural roads and houses is stuck in the House after a Senate win. Wednesday’s Infrastructure Strategies could give it a shove—small towns want it, but some smell bulldozers. SB 1118, the land-use power grab, might twitch in Thursday’s State Affairs—no vote yet, but it’s a sprawl scare waitin’ to ignite. HB 771 and SB 432, bannin’ local assessments, are snoozin’—could choke future projects if they wake.

Funnies to Cool the Heat

Mullet Man’s cloud-seedin’ rant from March 25 still haunts—chatter's dubbed him “Sky King,” and his Eye-Rollin’ Gertie sidekick’s meme gold! Tuesday’s tax talks might bring laughs— one post cackled, “Sales tax break for ammo, but my AC’s still wheezin’!” Florida’s budget brain never fails to tickle.

Term Limits Keep Bubblin’

SJR 536 and HJR 1055, cappin’ lawmakers at 16 years, could move in Monday’s Ethics & Elections. It’s a slow sizzle—headed for the 2026 ballot to shake up Tallahassee’s old-timers. Citizens says it’s gainin’ steam—hot sand for the lifers!

The Stinky Lowdown

Budget’s the blaze, kid labor’s the wildcard, and Gulf-namin’ nonsense adds spice—development’s simmerin’, guns (HB 15/SB 190) and condos (SB 1742) are creepin’, and Mullet Man keeps us grinnin’. Senate’s rockin’ Wednesday-Thursday, House runs all week—sniff out the swamp stink at sunshinepoopscoop.com! #FloridaLegislature #HotSandScoop